Skip to content
Lexx stared at the wall. He'd taken one step through the door, let it close and then just stood there, staring ahead. A heavy gloom had settled upon him, fogging his head and making his body feel heavy. 'I'll sleep, I can't chance pushing myself like I have before.' It was an eternal conflict. Responsibility, then self-destructive behavior. 'I've been careless. If I'm well rested, I'll be at my best.'
For the moment, his will to live was strong enough to make him listen to his body. The nanos gave a constant readout of his physical status and right now, they were telling him that he needed to sleep. Lexx stared. The golden orange panels that added a soft ambiance to the room reminded him of Chel's hair. He almost had the urge to step forward and touch them.
It was then, that he realized just how alone he was. Silence, nothing but the hum of the engines. How many times had he stood in this room and just looked at it? More than he could remember and none of them were as painful as right now. Why should he be alone? There was a girl in the next room. She was a very sweet kind girl. All he had to do, was give in.
Lexx shook his head abruptly. He couldn't allow it. He couldn't. 'This is all fake. I must make myself realize that. The ONLY reason I,.. feel for her,' He admitted it to himself, thinking over it as he walked to the bunk that Chel normally slept in. It smelled like her. 'is that stupid relay. I haven't been close to any female even near my own age who wasn't after something for so long. This is fake. It's too quick. I can't trust my feeling, it would be so easy, so easy to give in.' His mind was turning back to just doing it. He sat down and picked up the pillow resting on top of the blankets.
'I shouldn't think about this when I'm tired.' Lexx lifted the pillow to his face, unable to stop himself and hugged it, resting his face against it and inhaling deeply. 'I shouldn't, I'm just very tired, that's all.' He lowered the pillow and rubbed his eyes, then laid back onto the bunk, still holding the pillow to his chest. "Lights off,"
2 thoughts on “August 29, 2002”
Leif the Thief
I should probably be concerned for Lexx’s emotional well-being right now, but all I’m thinking is:
giveingiveingiveingiveingiveinGIVEIN!
eekee
I think he’s taking the better path. I don’t think I used to think that when reading this page. I wonder if this means I’m getting a little… what’s the word? mature? Nah, can’t be…
Follow me on Twitter
My TweetsMeta
Subscribe to Blog via Email