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Carefully, Lexx had opened the door just a crack to see if Chel was sleeping. She was. He stood there, watching for any movement. "Chel?" He whispered, to see if she would respond. The girl didn't. She had fallen asleep quickly once between the soft sheets of the bed.
Lexx smiled slightly, then frowned, brushing his hand over the side of the door. He wanted to step through the door, but held himself back. Not while others were here. He would be embarrassed and what he had in mind would probably be inappropriate. Lexx sighed and stepped back, thinking. 'She's tired. I wonder. Does she think the same way I do? Does she make excuses? I know she cares about me,…'
He bit his lower lip thoughtfully, 'but I can't tell if she loves me. It,… would be worth it just to find out, but what if she doesn't?' It built up within him, pinching hard across his chest. He just wanted to know.
'Hmmm,.. later,.. just a few minutes won't hurt. She'll never know,… she'll think it's a dream. Just a few minutes and I can be at ease one way or another,…' Lexx considered something. He could look. Just a quick look through the relay. She wouldn't know. She still didn't know about the relay and he wanted to keep it that way.
He made excuses. If he knew. It would make things easier for him. It would make things easier for both of them.
3 thoughts on “June 18, 2003 (3 Comments)”
Refugnic
Well, one could argue, that common sense dictates, that Lexx should probably not do that…I mean, how would HE like it, if someone snooped through his thoughts? His feelings?
And would it make it easier? Somehow I highly doubt that. Right now, he has the benefit of the doubt. Now if he knew, how is that supposed to make it easier?
If she resents him, he’ll be heartbroken.
If it’s mutual, he’ll be even more awkward around her.
So yeah…how would THAT help him..?
Hj
Peace of mind, easing of curiosity. A way to know for sure what he should be wary of, as opposed to just being wary of the unknown and/or being afraid of all possibilities at once. A bit of certainty where he has little xD
Raxondr
This actually seems worse than just messing with her while she’s awake. She is completely vulnerable, and dreams aren’t accurate. Heck, I have had a dream where I ate a bunch of pickled eggs. They were wonderful and all my problems went away.
But I don’t like pickled eggs. Dreams can be self contradictory, and can contradict how you feel in reality. In a dream, a mysterious, shirtless, dark blue winged stranger romancing me- I mean Chel in a field of roses would be wonderful in a dream where everything is just that, a wonderful fantasy. In real lif, it would bring up thoughts of confusion and uncertainty. I- Chel would not react the same way in both instances, because they have different versions of reality.
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