I am still suffering from eye strain and working on fixing it. It was better, then yesterday I overdid it. *sigh* :/ This means I shouldn't sit at the computer for long stretches of time... which means the likelihood of me getting an update done for next week is really low. HOWEVER, the update IS penciled along with the next ones. AND I want to get them one... so until then, I'm working up more pencils. - Tiff
Chel stared at the feed, dread growing in the pit of her stomach. The cameras focused on Lexx and Tairin, their conversation broadcast to the viewers. There were few observers left on the island, but the ones that were still there whispered amongst themselves. “Guess what,” said Tairin with a smirk. “Rule change.” And then, an announcer’s face slid into view, breaking the screen into two windows. “Master Class Dice are allowed to fight Lexx directly with two accompany dice.” The rest of what he said droned into background noise. “That’s… that’s…” Chel stammered, running her hands up and down her arms. “That’s not fair.” Riley sighed, dropping a hand on Chel’s shoulder, patting lightly. It was a comforting gesture, and Chel turned to look at him. He had kept close but said little. He shook his head, a scowl deepening the lines on his face.
5 thoughts on “Alien Dice 30-01-01”
Hariman
Okay… the audience is probably itching for a fight by now, but there’s a point where even the most bloodthirsty audience will say “This isn’t fair. It’s a slaughter!”
Finn MacCool
Well, that has been quite the archive binge.
The story has been very nice so far.
However, it pains me that I can’t say the same for the spelling and grammar.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to offer a complete proofreading, but I have dropped comments for some of the more glaring mistakes and here is some general advice:
1. The singular of “dice” is “die”.
2. “To lay” (laid, laid, laying) is transitive, i.e. it is used with an object, while “to lie” (lay, lain, lying) is intransitive, i.e. it is used without an object.
3. Watch out for sentences that require past perfect; you’ve often used simple past instead.
Also, while it is rather mean, Weird Al’s Word Crimes contains some good tips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc
Anyway, so much for the (hopefully constructive) criticism.
Thank you for this fine piece of entertainment.
TiffRoss
Actually, you can use dice for both singular and plural–and Ursula K Le Guin says there are no rules in certain cases. 😀 *I have the book right here that says that.* 2 & 3 — This is why I quit writing text to go with the story.
Finn MacCool
Interesting. The two online dictionaries I use only list “die” as singular, but Wiktionary also has “dice” with the annotation “proscribed by some; standard in British English”. You live and learn…
TiffRoss
Oh yeah, going to strip out the repeated scene. 9.9 I know where I did it and why. This is also why I stopped for a long time until I could get professional instruction and this has always why I’ve been delaying the rewrite. 😀 However, thank you. I did enjoy the comments.
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