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Lexx must lose and I have to make it happen. Zaile unclenched his fists and spread his hands over the smooth rock, flexing his fingers and pressing them into the surface. Uncontrollable tears were suddenly welling up in his eyes as he admitted his guilt to himself. They rolled down his face in streams. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried like this and couldn’t fully understand why he was doing it now.
Zaile felt awful and anxiety was gripping his heart, causing it to beat faster. Lexx was going to die and he would have a hand in it. It wasn’t going to be easy, clean, or fast. Maybe if I told Lexx about the deal he would surrender to the gauntlet. Zale wondered if there were easier ways. If Lexx would just give himself up to the ADC, it would be easier. He could just quit, give the proper motivation. He might even live.
But then, he would know what I did. Zaile’s guilt came home, dragging reality with it. Everyone cares so much about him and I know why. Zaile closed his eyes, accepting what he had done and what he was going to do. For the first time, Zaile realized that Lexx was a better person than he was. Lexx wasn’t selfish. He did things that weren’t in his best interest to help others. Zaile? He would do anything to get what he wanted, even if it cost his own blood his life.
He would choose to die for his love and I will only part with a piece of my soul. Somehow, that seemed a far more painful thing. Zaile would have to live with that sacrifice while Lexx would simply meet his end while doing the right thing. That was the plan.