“But,.. you hate it when I touch you, Lexx.” Chel couldn’t understand why he’d asked her to do that. He had asked her not to, flinched when she’d done so accidentally and purposely kept his distance.
“…” Lexx sighed. An excuse. He needed an excuse. “I can’t reach between my wings and the growth is making me sore.” They really were sore and stiff. Just a little.
“Are you sure?” Chel stared at Lexx, wondering what he was up to with these questions and this game. It was almost like he was making things up just so she’d do things for him. She was vaguely worried what the future questions might be. Worse, the nanites still gave her the creeps.
“If you don’t want to answer the question.” He tried not to show how anxious his own question had made him. It was hard to keep his voice steady. Lexx didn’t want Chel to think he had an underlying motive, no matter how silly and simple it was. “It’s how the game plays.”
Lexx waited for an answer, thinking hard on how he would respond if she quit. He resisted the urge to whisper into the relay. How hard would it be to make her think it was her own mind speaking to her? ‘Chel,…’ He couldn’t say it. It would be more awkward than he could handle. ‘I want her to touch me. I want it so badly.’
Nervously, Lexx gripped the cushion of the couch. ‘I just want to feel her hands willingly touch me. Is that too much to ask for? I don’t understand it,.. but I have the strangest ache inside,… just for a simple brushing of her fingertips.’ Lexx was not used to wanting that kind of attention so much. He’d managed to suppress it most of the time, counting out the consequences of it.
You felt more alone when it was over. He didn’t want to risk that, not that empty feeling that tore at his very being. But, at the same time as usual, his mind was conflicting and racing through a myriad of possibilities. If he wanted, at any time, he could go through the relay to Chel and she would never know it.
He had considered it several times while she was sleeping. It was an ever-present temptation. He had lain awake debating it. But you never knew what you would find and he didn’t like the thought of taking advantage of what she didn’t know.
