0 657

September 19, 2001

Silence. Only the steady hum of the engines. It was calming. Lexx inhaled deeply, rewrapping his arm. "I should not have said anything! Stupid, Stupid!" He told himself quietly. Now how would things go? He was stuck with the girl on his ship and now there would be an even more uncomfortable atmosphere between them. "This entire situation is out of my control … and getting more so." He arose and left the bathroom, thankful he'd closed the door to the sleeping area. "Just need a little rest to recover." He was still gripping his sides as he sat on his bunk. Slowly he kicked off his boots, not really caring where they landed. Usually, he would pick them up and put them away, but for now, they could just sit there. It didn't hurt nearly as much once he stopped moving and made himself comfortable, folding his arms over his stomach and staring up at the ceiling of the bunk. It was reflective enough that he could make out his features easily. His face had several shallow cuts across it from the earlier battle. They were beginning to heal. In a few minutes, they would probably be gone. Lexx laid there, staring. He never liked what he saw. He was frowning, but more than a frown as the lines showed his constant depressive cloud. His eyes always looked back in a hollow lifeless fashion. He didn't like it. Aware as he was of his own situation, he was also aware how much he showed it. Did he really look like this? Is this what the girl saw that made her so quiet? Is this why she wouldn't look at him? That last one was an odd question. He hadn't wanted to look at her, yet, it bothered him that she had stopped looking at him once they had their 'discussion'. Not being looked at was a demeaning thing. You look at someone you're communicating directly with, you look away when you don't want to acknowledge their existence. Inner turmoil. Analyzing his actions, he sighed. He was pathetic. He had begun to feel sad that he had upset Chel. As much as he wanted to push away, Lexx's thoughts and emotions pulled him toward others. He had hated the dice, every single one of them because if Alien Dice had never existed, maybe he wouldn't be in this game. There had been a problem with that, once bonded, the dice were sentient and could think for themselves and some of them were more friendly than others. Zeta was a good dice. He was endlessly loyal and Lexx really did care for him more than the others. He didn't show it often, but there was a reason why Zeta was so … fat. The little sallomandyr got a lot of extra treats and attention. Stealth on the other hand, was a pain. The nosey stealth dice thought she was some sort of grief counselor and would talk endlessly until Lexx was so upset with what she was saying … and the good points she made, that he would just go to bed and lock her out. She was annoying anyway when he slept, always curling up where he couldn't move or across his legs. Lexx suddenly became aware that he was alone. Completely alone. He closed his eyes, feeling a burning sensation creeping through them. He ignored it and began trying to think of something else. The last thing he wanted was to give in to his emotions. They had gotten him into enough trouble when he was in the Academy. You can't trust anyone but yourself. He repeated that to himself, slowly drifting into unconsciousness. --- text missing --- Chel: I feel bad now... Zeta: Zeta feel bad too. Not know. Thought Lexx do this for fun. Zeta: Thought Lexx rich one...

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